I never understood that the holidays might be considered stressful until this year. Once I divided the amount of free weekend hours I have, by the number of presents I need to purchase I felt my large intestine twist into a a topknot bun of despair.
How in the hell are you supposed to get it all done?!?! How do you supress your road rage in the mall parking lot on a saturday afternoon?! How do you avoid the pitfalls of self- pleasure in your favorite stores?! How do you tell yourself that listening to “White Christmas” by Michael Buble over 300 times is unhealthy?! How do you avoid the itchiness of Christmas sweaters while still appearing festive?! (the answer to that last one is, of course, hair wreaths).
I’d talk to you about presents and what not but it’s giving me too much anxiety. Only words to the wise are: when in doubt go to Jonathan Adler- coffee mugs, ornaments, happy things.
Anyways, here are things on my mind right now:
1. PRESENTS, GIFTS, THE PERFECT GIFTS, THE PERFECT GIFT THAT SAYS “I LOVE YOU/ I HAVE GOOD TASTE/ I SPENT HOURS PICKING THIS OUT/ YOU’RE STYLISH/ LET’S JUST MAKEOUT WITH THIS STYLISH GIFT BECAUSE IT’S SO YOU AND IT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS” ( Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close anyone?).
3. positive thoughts
5. velvet everything
What say you sugar plum?
image: Catherine Deneuve, Vogue 1968
A few months ago I bought a frame at the Rose Bowl flea, mostly because it was gold and $2. At the time I didn’t realize I would have to get matting, glass and hooks to make the frame functional (it was early Sunday morning… I was probably hungover…) but as soon as I got home reality hit.
So, this little dumpling has been hanging out on my floor for quite some time, until I decided I’d make him into a jewelry and sunglasses display. Don’t expect any fancy DIY here my honey buns, this is amateur crafting. Anyways, here’s what I did:
1. Pour glass of wine
2. Gather flea market frame, sturdy gold string (found at Michael’s for $2… though I don’t really recommend going in there unless you want to be smothered to death by heinous Christmas decor), scissors and hot glue gun (not pictured).
3. Before you begin, realize that touching the glue that comes out of a hot glue gun is idiotic and to be avoided (see wine glass above).
4. Cut gold string to fit the length of the frame. Measure to the inside ledge of the frame for the cleanest look. Keep the string as taut as possible.
5. Glue string to sides of the frame and let cool.
* I chose to do two rows but technically you could do more depending on the size of your frame/what you’re hoping to display.
6. Repeat previous step for the second row.
7. Once the glue has dried, cut some string into small pieces and tie small knots on the framed string. This prevents all of your jewelry and sunglasses from sliding to the middle. I did a single knot on the top row (for my earrings) and a triple knot on the bottom row for my sunglasses.
*Don’t worry about the spacing of the knots, you can slide them about.
And here we have it:
Ways I could have done this better:
1. Not touched the glue
2. Kept my string tighter when gluing… the second line got a little saggy.
This isn’t the most earth shattering project but it definitely gave my little frame a purpose in life.
Stay tuned for some images of my full wall collage, featuring this humble frame and more…